Overwhelmed?

Correct me if I’m wrong, but I would bet that, at some point in your life, you have probably felt overwhelmed. You have likely experienced the sense that, somehow, you just ended up with too much on your plate. Now things are starting to slip through the cracks, but people are counting on you to keep it all together. You feel like you don’t have what it takes to manage everything. You’re used to being in control and being able to stay on top of things, but something has gone terribly wrong. It almost seems like life is out to get you…

I, too, am quite familiar with the feeling.

During the past year, I have probably been more overwhelmed than ever before in my life. Simultaneously experiencing my sixth year of marriage, first pregnancy, and first year of medical school have made for quite the challenge. Most of it hasn’t gone as I planned, and I still don’t know how things are going to turn out, but I have finally reached a point where, most days, I am ok with that (big emphasis on most – some days are definitely better than others). Many of my friends and classmates have asked me throughout this past year, especially as my belly has gotten bigger and bigger – how are you doing this??! The most honest answer I can give to this question is – “I’m just taking it one day at a time.”

Having so much on my plate at once has fostered multiple growth opportunities. One of the biggest lessons that I have learned is to be ok with not knowing, because God does know. So many questions float through my mind. Will the baby be healthy? What will labor be like? Will I make it through school and still become a doctor? Will I be a good mother? Will my husband and I have conflicting parenting styles? Will we keep paying attention to each other and not only focus on the baby? Whenever I try to sort through the details of how this is all going to work out, instead of trusting in the truth that God will be with me and direct me no matter what happens, I become totally discombobulated. That familiar overwhelmed feeling kicks in and takes over, and my head becomes filled with negative ‘what if’s instead of confident ‘God can’s.

I’ve heard lots of people in various churches say “God will not give you more than you can bear,” but I don’t believe this is true at all. (The scripture I believe this saying is based on is 2 Corinthians 10:13, which actually refers to God not allowing us to be tempted beyond what we can bear, not to how many overwhelming circumstances we’ll face at one time.) I believe God is all about giving us more than we can handle on our own, because He wants us to be dependent on Him. It’s usually in times that we feel overwhelmed and actually realize that things are beyond our control that we begin to turn to (or back to) Him. This is no coincidence. God has been trying to help me understand for some time now that the truth of the matter is, I am never really in control. I often fight this truth because of my fear of the unknown. I have, for years, found a false sense of comfort in believing that I can make things go the way I want them to, and that I have some say as to how things turn out. God wants us to understand that including Him and focusing on Him instead of the circumstance is the surest way to ensure that all the control is where it needs to be.

As my daughter’s due date is quickly approaching, and the end of the school year is actually starting to come into view, I find comfort and confidence in knowing that God has a plan for my family and for my future that is so much more elaborate and beautiful and wonderful than anything that I could have ever planned. He already knows every single thing there is to know about my daughter’s personality. He knows what kinds of parents we will be and exactly what kinds of tools and help we will need. He has it all figured out, but He’s not going to share it all with me at once because He wants me to continue to rely on Him, not on the knowledge that He gives me. He never said that everything would go the way we want, but He did promise that He would be with us every step of the way (check out the Amplified version of Hebrews 13:5). His steady presence is the reason why I have gotten to this point in the school year and not gone crazy or flunked out or given up; why I am excited about this beautiful baby girl’s arrival, and not stressing about how things are about to change; why my husband and I continue to grow together and move forward, even though we are both so far from perfect.

There is a song by a group called Big Daddy Weave called Overwhelmed which talks about being overwhelmed by God’s greatness and beauty and glory. One line says, “God, I run into your arms, unashamed because of mercy.” There is NO shame in not having it all together! We’re not supposed to. We were designed to rely on our maker. God’s grace and mercy are more than enough to help us get through our circumstances, in spite of our weaknesses. 2 Corinthians 12:9 says “And He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore […] when I am weak, then I am strong.” Thank God that His strength is so much greater than our weakness, and that when we become overwhelmed by various situations, we can just collapse into his love and peace and presence. Let’s stop trying to look and act like we’ve got it all together, and just flow with Jesus, one day at a time. 🙂

You can check out that song here: