Update since last post: Step 2 CK went much better than Step 1. I had more time to designate to studying, and I got an AVERAGE score, which was extremely exciting!
So now…the long awaited interview season. Since first year I have both looked forward to and dreaded this time. Looked forward to it because 4th years previously on the trail would share how much fun it was to learn about different programs and meet all sorts of people. But I also had a really intense fear that no programs would want to interview me, mainly due to some challenges that I had on a few exams during pre-clinicals, and because I didn’t pass step 1 the first time. But now I’m here, I’ve gotten invitations, and it all feels pretty surreal.
I’ve heard multiple residents say “I know it’s a lot, but just trust the process, it really works.” Which sounds true to me (of course, I won’t know for sure until March 15th). Overall I have been having fun, but I will say, how folks go on 20 or 30 interviews, I will never know, and I have great respect for those of you who are able to accomplish this. I’ve only done 8 so far, and the season is actually coming to a close for me after a few more. And even with my 8 (honestly after about the 4thone) I am exhausted! The traveling is a lot in and of itself. I don’t sleep well on planes (I’m currently writing, instead of sleeping, on a plane), I miss my family, and my body is constantly trying to figure out what weather it will have to prepare for next (flavor of the day = snow on the ground with a low of 28…and a current temperature of 27…not sure how that works). But on top of the general joys of traveling, the arguably more difficult challenge is the anxiety that comes with each interview, plus, for us introverts, being ON and talking to strangers at dinners and then all day at interviews, asking questions, answering questions, talking about ourselves, being stared at while walking through hospitals in a large conspicuous group of business-suited hopefuls…it can all be a bit much.
In spite of these challenges, as I said, I am enjoying the process. It is quite the adventure finding out what different programs have to offer, and then returning to my working rank list/excel doc to compare and contrast and add or remove columns. I think it’s easy to go into interviews with negative self-talk rattling around in our minds. After all, most of us medical students have always been perfectionists, and with that sometimes comes a lack of kindness when it comes to how we speak to ourselves. One bad interaction, an awkward silence, a missed email, is not the end of the world. Our value isn’t determined by how much we impress these folks.
At the same time, don’t trick yourself into thinking that you have nothing to offer. I heard some other applicants during one of my interviews say that they aren’t sure how different programs keep us (applicants) straight because we are all the same, but I don’t believe this is true at all. We are each unique and important and impressive and have lots to offer. Even though some of us might have similar experiences, we all have different goals and interests, and even if those are similar, each human has a unique approach to any given situation. Give yourself credit for how far you have come and how impressive you are! And don’t forget that you are interviewing these programs just as much as they are interviewing you.
I am learning more and more how to be kind to myself. Which has been a really great shift in my perspective from constantly being fearful that I won’t match since my Step 1 blunder. I am actually seeing myself as an almost doctor, believing that I will be an intern next year (and I am usually super overwhelmed by that)! My consolation, though, is that just about every intern seems to feel clueless and overwhelmed when they start, so I will just continue to enjoy this process to the best of my ability, and learn as much as I can between now and graduation. Good luck on the rest of your interviews to those of you currently on the trail, and happy holidays everyone!
JLDM 
Love your updates. You are doing so well
LikeLike